The Saboteurs
how are you sabotaging your success & happiness?
controller
Characteristics: Controls self, others, and situations. Confrontational, impatient, and dislikes change.
Internal Dialogue: I need to take charge.
Core emotion: Anger with Fear underneath
Distraction: Compulsive & repetitious behaviors
Judge
Characteristics: Critical to self, others, and situations. Defines everything as good or bad. Makes comparisons.
Internal Dialogue: What is wrong with me, them, or this situation? I'll be happy when ____.
Core emotion: Resentment (degree of Anger)
Distraction: Comparisons, Bad/Good
Perfectionist
Characteristics: Can't make a mistake. Is never done.
Internal Dialogue: It's/I'm/They're never good enough. It must be done right.
Core emotion: Guilt
Distraction: Obsessive behaviors
pleaser
Characteristics: Wants to make others happy. Puts needs of others first. High achiever.
Internal Dialogue: If I do _____ they won't like me.
Core emotion: Fear
Distraction: Hyperactive & racing thoughts
Doubter
Characteristics: Questions self, low confidence, high insecurity, never finishes what they start.
Internal Dialogue: I can't. Maybe I shouldn't. I'll fail anyway.
Core emotion: Shame
Distraction: Worry and knowledge-seeking
Victim
Characteristics: Depressed, pities self, "sensitive"
Internal Dialogue: Nothing is going my way. I'm powerless anyway. Nobody cares about me.
Core emotion: Hopelessness
Distraction: Self-pity
avoider
Characteristics: Avoids confrontation, distrusts others, lone-wolf, keeps thoughts & feelings to self.
Internal Dialogue: I can't trust others because they'll hurt me.I must do everything myself. I don't like these feelings.
Core emotion: Anger with Fear underneath
Distraction: Compulsive & Repetitious Behaviors